confession: i hate that i love crying. i love the way that i feel like a kid again and i’m looking at my life from my little kid shadow place. i love how my head feels heavy afterwards, but my heart feels relieved – it makes for the best sleeping mood aside from thunderstorms over the ocean.
it’s not a secret that crying makes you feel better. it is also a widely acknowledged truth that, unless you are the chosen one (the “pretty cryer”), crying makes you look like an idiot.
tough tissues, internetlings.
few things make me feel better than a good cry, and i am someone who HATES crying. i assume that it’s natural to feel uncomfortable when emotions seizes you and squeezes salt water out of the goop balls that you use to drive your car and rate your peers as “hot” or “not.”
it’s kind of weird. for everyone. so for everyone’s mental health and emotional comfort, here’s how you can have a good, old-fashioned cry without bringing the entire house down.
1. time and place. let’s state the obvious: do not cry before work or a party. always after. sometimes feelings tend to explode and before you know it you’ve splashed tears all over your keyboard and your coworkers are suddenly running for coffee. i find that crying while working out (of course, i rarely go workout in public or during daylight hours), taking a shower/bath, and driving down the highway to be reasonably cathartic and simultaneously private.
2. damage control. rinse your face with cold water, adjust your hair, deal with your contacts. take a sip of water, pop a breathmint, do a few deep breaths and some practice smiles. a few jumping jacks might not hurt, unless your face is going to get really red (like mine does). don’t do the “i’m ashamed” thing; just go do what you have to do. except cry. you did that already.
3. make peace with it. you don’t have to make peace with your problem/shambles/heartbreak/hormone hijincks… yet. you should make peace with crying. it’s good for you, i promise.
4. don’t make it weirder. if you think that this is one of those “this goes without saying” statements, skip to #5. if you’re like me and your first impulse to halt the oncoming of emotion is to slap yourself promptly in the face, then keep reading. the people around you are probably already freaked out (as much, possibly more, or maybe not at all) are you for a completely normal and natural reason. unless they are a bunch of weirdos, and, chances are, they’re not this brand of weirdo, they probably are not going to think that slapping yourself in the face is a natural, normal, awkward kind of thing. so just don’t do it. grit your teeth and do your damnedest to be adorably awkward, as opposed to the face-slapping kind of awkward.
#5. know that it’s okay to feel weird/awkward/bad about crying. i mean, power to you, if you love crying, but a lot of us are terrible at it. we cry whenever we read something adorable about harry potter… we cry whenever we hear the national anthem or watch a sports montage… we cry at iams dog food commercials and at the end of safety not guaranteed… we cry in secret for everyone’s benefit. in secret.
in tears, tissues, and shame,
sadie
no photo – like i’m gonna post a picture of crying
